Nauseating Bridge Quotes: Doug Ross

DOUG ROSS: (cross-referenced to Charlie Parker, Warren Rosner, Allan Stauber, and Ron Stumpo)

Ross, a good player, grew increasingly agitated as he didn’t get his club ruff even though I had ample opportunity to give it to him. Ross could no longer contain himself as the hand ended in disaster.

Ross: NO CLUBS, PARTNER?!

Stauber (in about one microsecond): NO BRAINS, PARTNER?!

It was right not to give Ross a club ruff, but that development (or lack thereof) apparently exasperated Ross a bit, and subsequently the contract made.

P.S.: Maybe I should have made allowances for Ross. In RPI Student Union and other bridge games, Ron Stumpo, his regular partner, had repeatedly smacked him over the head and given him literal uppercuts (not the usual bridge kind) with metal duplicate boards!