Nauseating Bridge Quotes: Bob Blanchard

BOB BLANCHARD: (cross-referenced to Marty Bergen, Jill Blanchard (now Levin) and Allan Stauber)

The ACBL used to have Men’s and Women’s events which were usually held at the same time. I think it had something to do with the theory of simultaneous orgasms. This state of nirvana had never been known to have occurred for a mixed pair, at least in bridge. Thus, it was rather ingenious planning by the ACBL, no? There also were open events that usually were not played in conjunction with these events. However, Jill Blanchard sued the ACBL to make the Men’s Events “open” so she could play in them with her husband, Bob. As one might often expect for married bridge partnerships, the pairing apparently led to a divorce. She is now Jill Levin. (It seems more logical to me to make the women’s events “open”! I would also think that some male pro would file suit, or even NT, against the women’s events for loss of employment opportunities or some other trumped up reason. Evidently, it hasn’t happened yet, or at least hasn’t reached a successful climax.)

I was the declarer in an Open Pair event. My LHO and RHO were Jill and Bob, respectively. One of the things I wanted to do was find some card, say a Q. I led a J or some such card, thought for a while, finessed through her, and won the trick. It was obvious to everyone that my thinking had paid off, at least up to that point. So I continued playing the hand, and she was not saying anything, but obviously fuming, apparently because I actually did something right. (Since I had never guessed anything right against anyone before that hand, I can see that she couldn’t believe I broke my streak against them!)

At or near the end of the hand, it became clear to me that Bob actually had the card after all! Of course, she had thought that I had it, and was pulling off some kind of ethical scam. However, he knew his duck would make no difference on the actual layout. When she saw that he had it, the following occurred:

Jill Blanchard (to me): I was all set to file a Conduct and Ethics Complaint against you for thinking about the situation just to deceive us!

At this point, Bob could hardly contain himself with his “achievement”, not so much of fooling me to no effect, but of tricking her as well. So he gave me a HIGH FIVE besides to congratulate me on our “teamwork”!! (Not that I had done anything that was even a little brilliant.)

Being blessed with unique “table presents” (mainly for the opponents), I think that was a slight clue that the pair might be involved in an ending with few cards left to be played!